Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Folders

'They' say the best  way to clear your email inbox is to create folders and dump emails to their relevant folders.

Wrong!

In the past five years, I have been doing exactly that. Yes, it helps to store these emails in their respective boxes AFTER I have read them and decided what to do with them. However, channeling the emails into folders to read later, or to deal with at the time when they will be needed is, in my experience, the worst thing to do! Because I should have read them and deleted them a long time ago. Some of the emails have embedded videos which are not even available when I finally get to them.

So - the month of May is get rid of the damn-folders-in-my-email-account month for me.

Yo'll will be happy to note the first folder I have to address is titled John Assaraf, and it is full of his drip content john Assaraf, yes himself, dripped on me just because I signed up for a Neurogym experience! Truly,I have folders that will make any organised person proud of me - that is how detailed my folders system is. So let me tell you how I will address the content in the John Assaraf folder - I will be clicking on choose all and deleting that entire folder. Yo'll know that will save me more than the 8 hours I spent on on the Neurogym experience. So, here goes - unsubscribe, choose all, delete and delete folder. All in under one minute!

The best thing that Yahoo Mail has come up with, in my opinion, is the prompt on your phone the moment an email comes in, it gives you an option to 'Mark as Read' or to 'Delete'! Yes! Delete ! This keeps my email account in check and I no longer have to go back to read an email I really did not want to read, nor have it festering in my mailbox. So, Bravo! Yahoo Mail. Thank you.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

freedom

Hi, my name is Tasnim and I am obsessed by the whale of reading material that is available to me at the library, and I am addicted to reading. I have heard this line; 'Hi, my name is so-and-so and I am addicted to alcohol' spoken so many times in movies and on the TV, that I thought it was meaningless. It did not make me feel like this line can be a powerful line for someone who is in denial about a problem in their life, and mostly it came to me as a lame resolution of a line for someone who is struggling with obsessiveness or an addiction. I never thought I was addicted to anything, least of all that I was addicted to reading. For me, it was always a good thing to be known as an avid reader, and really if there was something I was known for - it was for my reading. I am fifty-three years old and I have loved reading books for all of my life. Recently I heard myself tell someone that the Library staff will realise first if ever I am missing because I go here so often. And then, to my amazement, I heard myself say that line again to someone else who happened to affectionately ask me the innocent question; 'where are you lost?' because we had not seen each other for a few weeks. In that moment, something shifted in my mind and I heard myself reprimand myself inside that thought, as if there was someone else who was living in my head who happened to be a no-nonsense guardian, one who was not going to let idiotic words fly from my skull without reason.

From that fleeting moment onward, I found myself not wanting to go to the library again. I wanted to put a stop to this cycle of events that kept playing over and over in my life. I wanted to stop having that errand of dropping library items and for me to stop the trips to the library for picking up my holds, and I wanted desperately to boot that routine out of my routine. I felt this like a bitterness in my gut for knowing I had this habit and the internal disgusted i felt to see the number of items I had waiting for me each time I went to the library. I found myself feeling embarrassed to have to check so many items out in one go, hating to haul those items home and hating to have so many things in a bag, and I felt my deep feelings that I did so love to read these things, yet they would be taking up so much of my valuable time, and I resented that love. I felt repulsed by that bag full of library items sitting on the floor, even though there were some interesting books and DVDs there, some that I had put on hold and waited for so many months to finally get my hands on. Everyday my revulsion grew until I wanted to burn that bag with all those library items in it and I wanted to shred the library cards and to add the shredded remains of the damn library cards to that fire too. The disdain my family members felt over the years whenever I asked them to go to the library for me came rushing to me in a sad awakening and I felt an acute ache for being so blind to my addiction. They had been telling me this for a good many years, but I never felt it like they saw it.

Today it is April 14th, 2016. I have written this down on my things-to-do-today list. ( That list - that list is next to be booted out of my life! This need to write an entire list of things that I must do each day is going to leave me for good too, and very soon.) I sat down at 10:30 am with only one line on that to-do sheet of paper and this is the one line written on it - Once and for all clear all library items and put only the ones I need in one card so that I never again use any other than my own card. You see, I  use four library cards for my reading needs. Four! I use my own card, my husband's card and my kid's cards and at any given time I have twenty and even thirty items checked out on each card! So, I opened my library account on a browser and on another browser I opened my daughter's account. I took the items on hold on my own account, and put them to the wish list, leaving only one item on the holds page. Then, from my daughter's account, I took the items from the checked-out, the holds and the wish list, and copied and pasted them each, because it can only be done individually one item at a time, I pasted each to my own account's wish list. When her account was empty, I opened my husband's account, and I performed the same exercise of moving things from his account to my account's wish list and when I was finished with his, I did the same for my son's account. By 2:00 pm, I got so fed up that I simply deleted all the remaining items from my son's card and called it a day. I need to stop today and I needed this nonsense to be over today and to have accomplished the feat that all three accounts had to be completely empty. 

If you think this was a quick and easy fix, then you are wrong, because the whole exercise took so much time. For every minute that passed I kept saying to myself that this is the last time that I will ever need to use all these cards and for me to have to tend to all these items on these cards. This time that Me, Myself and I were spending now on this problem, this intervention, was so that we never again spend this time on these library items, will never have all the cards working for me and thereby snuffing out the overwhelming amount of reading material that I will ever need to go through. Ever. Starting today, I will have one DVD and one book, audio or paper per week only.

Would you like to ask me whether I truly read all that stuff? My answer is truthfully 'YES"! I found that when I was not enjoying an audio book because it was read badly or that the story was not interesting then I had to stop listening to it because I did not want to endure it and so I needed at least five or six audio books, per week, ready at hand so that I would have enough audio books to find a good book playing on the CD player in my kitchen. I listened to a book or sometimes two audio books here in my kitchen each week. The pleasure I feel of having a good book playing for me like this is an immense blessing for me. I feel such gratitude that I have the luxury to enjoy this pleasure and that I have the access to the abundance of great books at the library which I freely use. On top of this, I read, physically read, a book each week also. However, for this pleasure, I needed fifteen to twenty books to choose from because I refuse to read a boring book or one that is not written with a great voice or with the beauty of the English Language at heart. I had stopped being shackled to reading books restricted by genre many years ago when I threw open my mind and allowed the awesomeness of any written work to flood into my life. With this came the need to have enough books to have at hand so that when a book disappointed me I at least had another book to feed my hunger for reading.

So today, only after I was done, completely sure that I had banished this madness out of my life and that the only library card I had any items on was my own card, and that only one item on hold, did I get up from my work-station to make myself a cup of tea and to have my lunch. An hour later, I came back to my table here and I feel a very strange sensation raging through my body. Wracking a habit was wrecking me. I have gone through the process of freeing myself from a noose yet I am shaking with a fear-like reaction. I have broken free of my bondage yet my hands are trembling as if am scared. I feel horrible, racing through me is that horrible feeling of dread that you feel when you sense that something really bad is about to happen. My knees are knocking, I kid you not, and my teeth are chattering with stress and I really feel an anxiety to the extent that I can say that I am terrified.

I decided to write how this there and then and to write it as it is happening because I am feeling this as a slave would feel it, realising that slavery is not a restraint that when the chains are open that doesn't mean that the enslaved is really released. The joys of freedom do not just pour into being now that the madness has lifted. Sometimes, the freedom is an execution in itself and the unrestricted is now faced with an unfamiliar and truly frightening reality of becoming one's own master and who knows what this equates to, and that really scares me. 



Thursday, April 24, 2014

mY tIME

I waste the day
lounging in my despair
thinking only of hurt

filling every cell
every second
with ache

Anyone who comes to me
I vent my pent up frustrations
Shouting ugly choking slurs

Basically beastly
Nothing good awakens me
Sinking in a phantom quicksand

I like nothing.
and I hate myself
Into a sickening mood

Sick to the core,
Remorse to the bone
Ugliness through and through

Yet needing so much
Just held tight
and slowed down

What am I to do?
Reach out
Grab the fleeting

Over the self esteem
a dose of less, a touch of more
Peace versus the hole?

To say I lived well
With a half better
Left untouched



Monday, April 08, 2013

Margaret Thatcher and Us

Rarely does a woman come out of the fog and into the limelight looking like she had a makeover, especially if she is doing things that she believes is for the betterment of humankind. Most women who leave their mark look just like they would were they mediocre.

Margaret Thatcher, well she came dressed in a frock, seeing her vision through her sharp pointy eyes, and speaking to the men who ruled the world, with her handbag dangling off her elbow, looking just like any other woman of her time.

She was a woman with the passion and fierceness we all have in us as women. She was one of us, living in our time, experiencing the same growing up phobias as we all do, and she took a step ahead, in a single instance, one foothold at a time, because she needed change and she, she took a stance.

All the negative conversations, those same ones we all battle, inside our heads, inside our homes, inside our places of work, inside the mindset of the whole world, come out in us in doing nothing, came out in her as huge milestones which barraged and ceased the negativity in its tracks. Negativity which changed to awe in the worst of the voices.

I remember seeing her in a photograph taken where she is sitting alone on a sofa in her home leafing through paperwork. I see all of us women, in that photograph, sitting in our sofas, contemplating. Only she was leafing through pages that would manifest the future of our world. And we, what do we do really?

And that picture of her at the door of Number 10, she is waving, as if saying hello to a neighbour, just like we do to our neighbours. Except our chores are not cutting a path to speak for those whose labour turns the wheels of our lives in a world ruthlessly geared to feed greed.

How many family confrontations must she have faced, telling her for her own benefit ofcourse, to stop? How many angry men did she have to turn a deaf ear to so they might listen and hear what she must say? How many jealous women had there been who scorned her for simply doing what we all should be doing? Oh, what was the nonsense and the behind the scenes and the back biting and the sneering and the God- knows- what- else, did she have to ignore rather than endure?

She will be remembered as the Iron Lady. No need for a new word to be coined for what she left on this Earth. She made everything very clear, and she made herself understood. This icon of a woman would not have rusted away had it not been for the nature of things on Earth to perish. May the soil into which she will lay send us her energy and her zeal and ground us to our purpose as she was to hers.

Written By: Tasnim Jivaji

Monday April 8, 2013

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Week 52 - Detachment

Desperate year
Starving
To learn in the end
Detachment
As blissful as
'Houston we have a problem'
Going all that way out
Looking for a BFF
I found her
Less is truly more
Suspended
Still
Inside

Friday, December 23, 2011

Week 51 - 168 Hours.

I fell down the stairs this week. It;s actually a much needed thing, to fall down a slippery flight of stairs to get real with your life.
I of course, was left with a fervent need not to live again through sludges of bullshit !
And for the ringing in my ear, I have resolved to buy the best earplugs for my iPod I can lay my newly leased hands on.
For the rest of my life, I have resolved even more to put to greater use of the 168 hours a week I am endowed with, like a dowry for a change in life experience as marriage is, I am going to do more and less of what I did last year!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Week 50 - I must be stupid or something.

Don't bother with the duct tape this time,
I'm done with it so
Chuck it away, this old thing
To waste anymore time, scathing
Like I have nothing else better to do

This time it is different
because I can't cry
I can't disrespect my soul
begging, in the labyrinth
I know so well
To bury myself in your darkness

This time, the rocks are dashed
jagged cracks in an old woman's heart
and I see less in my horizon
before my foggy dry years
when I won't even remember what it is
that is broken

I have seen it, o'course I have,
In the thousands of days
I have been yours,
you have wielded it, and given it
but not to me,  and not to me

So, my ship I know will never come
even as I set loose my sail
You lose your way at the start
where your distractions blur me
And I fly away into the orbit where you spin me

Im scared, scared of the nights
scared there will be no loneliness
scared the emptiness wont find me
scared that I can live without the chestful of thumps
scared the sadness wont own me

My body slips on an old woman's skin
whether you do or not do
what you should be doing
just to make this woman smile
Something that made her want
so badly, it killed her.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Week 49 - I am nearing something

But I am not sure I will enjoy it
I know it is what I need and I might not like it
But I have to find it
I am Crocodile Dundee and Pirate of Caribbean
I am about to behold the treaure I know I seek
But there are doubts because I want so much to love
This NEMESIS!

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

For just one moment, can we do this

Blood - G, donno.

Hunger - er, we do not wear G strings.

Water - Great, why?

War - Google Terrorism.

Canada, let's treat G click, let's air lift, person bloodied, hungry, sheepskin water jug, child not waking to peace and plonk them with G#.

Next G to be held, oh, where gangs are rallying, where they line up for food for half a day, walk a marathon to dig their water and for sound effects, there is nothing like war.

Friday, December 02, 2011

Week 48 - Why that is so sorted out.

The beauty of life,
The beauty of new days ahead,
The beauty of a journey's bend,
The beauty of you in beautiful life.
Thank you for being there yesterday into tomorrow.
Have a prosperous and fulfilling 1433!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Week 47 - Extraordinary me.

‎'I can't believe that!' said Alice.
'Can't you?' the Queen said in a pitying tone. 'Try again; draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.'
Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' said she: 'one can't believe impossible things.'
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'
Excerpt from Lewis Carroll's Alice Through The Looking Glass.

I am here.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Week 46 - Give ma a break!


What is it about growing old that makes us so fearless? One minute we are kids ourselves and the next we are parents, wielding power and knowledge over our children as if we know everything. I think we spend way too much time and energy over-parenting. We should give kids space to grow, to understand who they are without us constantly buttering their thoughts with our pounding views and rules. Whe...n children are our only focus, we overlook that they are watching us and learning from us in ways we do not see. We forget about living our own lives before time runs out, and simply be role models, mentors and compasses to these witnesses of our habits, our passions, our goals. Leading beyond barriers, achieving beyond dreams, if we did not do it for ourselves how could we have taught the kids to know their true worth and how to harness their own greatness?

Friday, November 04, 2011

Week 44 - What if both the doors and windows are bolted shut tightly?

They say, 'When God closes a door, He opens a window somewhere else.' Whoever attempted to enter anywhere through a window was shot down and is not here to tell us how it went. But why would a Benevolent God put you through that, get you to look up and figure the window is your salvation when you are downcast and disappointed? Doors are doors, not walls, when doors shut they always open again. Take the break and smile at the person in the mirror before you have to run out again through that brand new opportunity of the open door.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Week 43 - So much regret for doing so much that never paid off.

Everyday that this year draws to an end, I am thinking of my family, my friends and my collegues, wondering what milestones were crossed, what obstacles were crushed, what triumphs heaved us up this year. I know we lost some dears, through the unknown barrier of death, and we made new bonds who will make this journey bolder in colour. Let us take this baton into next year and make it a catapult to bear us unto new heights never imagined before.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Week 42 - To my memories of my pains.

You are old enough to behave however you like, and I respect that, and I am old enough to know that I shouldn't accept your behaviour if I am to respect myself.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Week 41 - Friends, don't come here please.

I am swimming in my pool of lies
I fill my eyes with its lust
I take deep breathes of reality
How buoyant is the truth
It drifts over me and soaks in
I am heavy with it
And when the lies evaporate
I am wrung in my folly
Burning in the draught
I become a prune of shame.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Week 40 - And I lied

I lay on the beach.
I worshipped the sun.
I dreamed the non - dream.
I eat the offers.
I drank like mad.
I heard what Nemesis spoke
I listened to my heart scream
I drowned in the lies.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Week 39 - Escapade

I am planning an escapade. A jaunt to nowhere. A sight on silence and detachment from the cacophony of my life. But my Nemesis wants to follow me there.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Week 38 - My Need is Wrong

I do not want to need what only I see in you,

Do not want to be lured by that quality that you dont know you own,

I know that you do not need me,

And that you do not want me equally,

And I am the only one who sees it that way

Friday, September 16, 2011

Week 37 - If you want to do it, do it. But if you never did, so what?

Problems and struggles come not to cleanse our souls. Unforeseen circumstances, irritable responsibilities - they come not to test our faith. All in life is good and simple. A burden cannot be put on the shoulders of one who will not be able to bear it. Should you take it upon yourself, then make of yourself a beast of burden or a heavy weight champion. And if you can't, then take it off your shoulders and live your life. There are no second chances to life, one lives now, there is no tomorrow.