Week 21 - Summer is in the air!

I want nothing more than to be alone.
I just want the rest of everyone near me gone
No one here means anything,
The people who do, are tragically drawn
To those who dont.

Week 20 - Freaking out because there is nothing working

Sometimes it is better that things don't work out the way we want them to.
I find that after a lot of painstaking needs and wants and wishes. Writing to the Universe to give us what we want - and then getting it, it just doesn't work out like we hoped.
And this thing comes and bites us in the face!
If you have ever been slammed in the face by a door, or been elbowed in the centre of the face where the nose and the eyes meet. You would feel the immense pain that is. And sometimes wanting something badly enough, isnt just needing it. Cause when it comes, boy can it hurt and does it torment the living daylights out of you!
So be careful what you wish for, be careful what you ask of the Universe, because it will send it forth to you and sometimes you are better off just wanting and pining away than getting it, I am speaking from experience here!

Week 19 - Blogging about goals

Ive been sending messages on Facebook, hoping to motivate myself. Hoping to motivate someone else to come out and say, let us do it together. But nothing like that has happened. It is getting pretty old this year and time isnt waiting for me and you. What else could be keeping us so busy?

Week 18 - The truth that we cannot make the past the future is not clear.

Do you see the time ?
The people of the world
Living hour to hour
Making the noise in the pocket

Do realise what date it is?
When revelations are naught
And everyone is a messenger
Shamelessly instilling shame

So do you see the truth
Or is it the way you want to say it
Or the way it has to be when you want
Skillfully denying all else that is real

Week 17 - I want to know what it means to not want

I am catching up on blogs not written. I started the year with a weekly blog and I stopped somewhere at week 16. I stopped calling them by the week, but I blogged, and the sticker on Facebook, for that week, went on. But here goes the blogs, for that person in the 30th Century who will want to read this and find me to be someone who did not finish what she started.
Which I am so not!
There is something profound about this year. I think its the year of the crunch. The year I get real with myself and the year that my many idiosyncrasies leave me. I find this week the need to need a true friend. A real friend - no bones, no skin, no mask, no script kind of friend. Maybe I would put it on Facebook, but I dont have the energy to lure the loonies who have nothing better to do but torment a really tired person like me.
Thank you world for having this forum at this time of my life, because if it were not for this I would have had to wait for the circus to come to my town.

Week 16, 2011. Tornados blew over the world this week. People scorned the weather and asked why. I was outside most of the days in the whirlwind immersed in my work, and I faced the urgent winds and thanked the Universe for jostling. Because to me it said, the year is rushing as fast as I am, do you hear me?

I have no words here to say that will embrace the essense of my week.
What a week I've had.
I am riding on a magic carpet, and it feels like a high I have felt once before, when I first flew a plane solo. I got the title Captain then and at that time I knew I would need no other. Now I still need no title, for what I have done is nothing I thought I could do and seeing me do it is overwhelming me.
I am making my rookie mistakes and overcoming daunting hurdles, all with legal ties and snares. I want to say it is worth it, that I like this challenge, but I do not really.
I want to sit by the window and crochette and read books, maybe write one of my own, and drink in the world like a superb cup of tea.
This huge a challenge at this age in my life, is good for jostling my body and brain to keep in shape, and for me to know there is a reason why I still am needed here. But if there is a cost that I might pay that will jeapordise my sanctity, I want the Universe to know, I will not take that well.

Week 15, 2011. A prayer.

I want to begin this one with I. I want to say everything here with me and I. I want to say to myself that I am important to me. That I mean to do something immense with me.

I want to die having done all that I want.
I want to live knowing I have not wasted
I want to live with the truth that I really know me.
I want me to rely on she and I.