Week 50 - I must be stupid or something.

Don't bother with the duct tape this time,
I'm done with it so
Chuck it away, this old thing
To waste anymore time, scathing
Like I have nothing else better to do

This time it is different
because I can't cry
I can't disrespect my soul
begging, in the labyrinth
I know so well
To bury myself in your darkness

This time, the rocks are dashed
jagged cracks in an old woman's heart
and I see less in my horizon
before my foggy dry years
when I won't even remember what it is
that is broken

I have seen it, o'course I have,
In the thousands of days
I have been yours,
you have wielded it, and given it
but not to me,  and not to me

So, my ship I know will never come
even as I set loose my sail
You lose your way at the start
where your distractions blur me
And I fly away into the orbit where you spin me

Im scared, scared of the nights
scared there will be no loneliness
scared the emptiness wont find me
scared that I can live without the chestful of thumps
scared the sadness wont own me

My body slips on an old woman's skin
whether you do or not do
what you should be doing
just to make this woman smile
Something that made her want
so badly, it killed her.