Week Eight, the year of 2011 - and so here I am, two months down the road and seeing how close I am to the completion of my wishes, how close I am is how I already live it!

So I believe in the power of the mind-set. I believe that whatever I want will happen and Heaven and Hell has to make it happen.

See that is it, Heaven being the good and Hell, well the other. So what I think is I should use Heaven more than Hell to get things done.

If I have it that way, I harness the awesome and that is what I become.

I see it, clearly. I step into it, and, here I am, I am living it.

Week Seven of the year of our Lord 2011 - No one notices when something good stops happening until the bad starts occuring.

I know that my children are not different from other children. They have their angers, their blame and their thoughts.

To save them from these, to tell them the real truth, I want to tell them everything, but it won't make a difference. I have to live now, with them flown off the nest, with what I have left.

If a mother loses herself in her children, who does she have when they have gone? Is the person lost, so lost that finding oneself is impossible? Or does that person never leave.

It does not take long, it takes long, whatever it is that a mother has to deal with in the aftermath, she must know that she won.

We mothers all win. We win because they are. And for that mother whose child dies before she does, I have words of solace. Do not cry, do not want, be not bitter, for that child has gone to where we all will go, and you were there all of the time.

Week Five 2011. Now that there are less than eleven months left to this year, there is no better time than to make the most of it. Come out of it looking better, smiling more and having had more hugs and kisses than ever.

I have a request to the karmic powers. I meditate and ask that I get powerful, positive and energetic people attracted into the sphere of my being. I want the goodness, the hyperactive love, the super-sonic purity and the surging volcano of laughter bursting constantly, a mighty spew to dump all into me.

I've been wondering how come I attract people in my life who do not care a hoot about me. I do have a few precious gems, so few, whom I love and cannot ever let know the extent of that love because it just might scare them and off they will run.

But now I've had it.

I read in a feng shui book once that brooms must never be seen in the front of a home. If you keep a broom where it will be seen in your house, it wards off visitors and so it should be always hidden. The book went on to explain however, that should you want to keep unwanted visitors at bay, then place a broom near your door and the unwelcome will be stalled. Well just so everyone knows, I do have a broom outside my home which if people want to, they will see, and I keep it to sweep the front of my home clean. But that does not keep the ugly away. Trust me, it does not.

I want to write this blog with the word 'I' as much as I possibly can, because it is about me and I am hoping that any person with a power enough to save me from my negative and selfish company will know that I want this more than I ever did anything.

Okay, I want to ask this, how hard is it for the Universe to render me with whom I am to spend the days of my life with. Not much. Good. So how much harder would it be to send people who understand the gist of preciousness of this life, who want to make this journey a treasuresome one, who want to leave this earth a better place than how we found it, to be with me, huh? How much harder is it send me smiling always, gentle companions, loving nature, doing what makes sense types?

I want spots to change, I want to swap the constant lesson on water conservation, waste management and simplicity for someone who knows it better so I can learn, I want to kick the blues of idiotic reasons and have a mentor in better reads and more knowledge so I can grow, I want to stop craving for understanding and unconditional and have mother the real, in the bosom of my home.

Now hard is that for the Universe? Get on with it, I want it by the end of the month!

Week Four 2011 - Maybe it's better never to chase dreams, and just go through life wanting to do so.

Sometimes, things just don't work out the way they have to be. I know, that goes around in my life quite a lot, and I really see that I am not alone in this. People they mask things, they invent things, they ignore things.

Ignoring is good. I like that, I recently discovered that. It works. I don't mean, see a bad thing happening and just look the other way. I mean see a bad thought coming and change my mind. Ignore that thought.

I like that it works. I like that it can be done and no one knows it's happening. I like that it makes a whole lot of a difference to the quality of my life. I like that it never fades if I don't allow it.

Fading is so drastic when one is aging. I am aging and it's not funny, it really isn't. Aging is like a license to letting go and I do not want to use it. Not yet, not when I have a license to be whatever I want because at my age, no one really cares and that keeps me off the radar to do just whatever I please.

And so whatever happens, I hope it happens because it is good for me, because I do not want to lose my dignity in this, and people they won't mask things or pretend it never happened, they won't ignore this. And then even if I want to I won't be able to change my mind about how I feel about things.